I don't know. It's just that - I have a wish for if I win, but it isn't really the reason I came. I just came here because I thought that... If this contest had to happen, I'd like to at least make it a little easier for everyone.
But I'm not sure if I've really done anything to really make it better.
Not much. And I'm used to that, in a way. [ her role back home is imperative, but it means she only interacts with people once. ] But I just thought that I'd be able to do more.
I think I know how you feel, [ he'll finally say, soft. ] To be honest, I think that kind of thing constantly. How I'm not doing enough, and how I should be doing more.
But if I said that to you, what would you tell me?
[ She still wants to argue. Majima still hurt himself - Senri and Mizuki don't really need her. She hasn't done much to help Ray, it's all the other way around. And Takaomi...
She wasn't even very close with Ai and Rachel.
But even if she feels insecure in what she's done for them, it would be insulting to speak on their behalf - to insist that they think so negatively of her. So instead she shakes her head. ]
That's not what I mean. All the people who care about you, Madoka... I'm sure they'd say they rely on you. It doesn't have to be for the things that you do. It can just be for the person that you are. Aren't you already enough?
[ That's another thing that's hard to argue. So she's emotional support. She understands that, and agrees... ]
... Sorry.You're right... [ Mostly she just doesn't want him to keep having to pep talk circles around her. But it makes her feel better knowing that he would probably be willing to. ]
It's just hard to feel as useful without my magic.
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I just feel like I haven't done as much to make this all more pleasant for everyone as I had hoped to.
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[ The look he gives her is ... concerned, but open. He just wants to hear her out. ]
What more had you hoped to do?
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I don't know. It's just that - I have a wish for if I win, but it isn't really the reason I came. I just came here because I thought that... If this contest had to happen, I'd like to at least make it a little easier for everyone.
But I'm not sure if I've really done anything to really make it better.
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You really don't think you've much impact? [ questioning. it's remarkable to him, that she can't know her own worth--
but then, isn't that what's always hardest to understand? ]
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Not much. And I'm used to that, in a way. [ her role back home is imperative, but it means she only interacts with people once. ] But I just thought that I'd be able to do more.
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I think I know how you feel, [ he'll finally say, soft. ] To be honest, I think that kind of thing constantly. How I'm not doing enough, and how I should be doing more.
But if I said that to you, what would you tell me?
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That's not true at all...! You've been a big help to everyone!
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You see what I'm trying to say, right?
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[ well yes, but ]
It's different.
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[ Not pressing, not judging. Just inexorable, and endlessly patient. ]
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What would Majima-san say? I know he was counting on you today, to keep himself together. What about Senri? Or Mizuki-san?
[ Yu shifts slightly, sighing out. ]
Do you think Ray-san would say that about you? Shishimaru-san? [ ... ] What about Mizuno-san, or Rachel?
[ He knows those may hit hard, so he gentles his voice. He's trying to make a point, but he doesn't want to upset her, either. ]
Do you think any of those people would say you just complain?
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She wasn't even very close with Ai and Rachel.
But even if she feels insecure in what she's done for them, it would be insulting to speak on their behalf - to insist that they think so negatively of her. So instead she shakes her head. ]
N-no... They're nicer than that.
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Jeez.
Yu shakes his head. ]
That's not what I mean. All the people who care about you, Madoka... I'm sure they'd say they rely on you. It doesn't have to be for the things that you do. It can just be for the person that you are. Aren't you already enough?
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... Sorry.You're right... [ Mostly she just doesn't want him to keep having to pep talk circles around her. But it makes her feel better knowing that he would probably be willing to. ]
It's just hard to feel as useful without my magic.
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Your magic...
[ Have they ever talked about it before? ... does she want to? ]
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Even if she doesn't always realize it, the confidence her magic gave her still lingers, even when the magic itself is gone. ]
I was never very good at anything or very smart. Having magic was my first real chance at being helpful to anyone.
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Every time he hears her talk like this, it fucking kills him she can't see what a bright light she is. For all of them. ]
Tell me about it. I don't think we've ever really talked about your magic before.
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And the rest is... [ Wait. Madoka blinks. Has she really not told Yu about this? She feels like she's told anyone who asked and been over it a bunch.
She doesn't mind, she's just surprised. ]