I get angry, or sad, or jealous, or hurt. And I hesitate, and I get confused, and I'm wrong a lot. [ ... that said, she sure is explaining all this in a sincerely patient and soothing tone. ]
[ she shakes her head, but slowly because she isn't trying to avoid the touch. ]
I told you, I came here just hoping I could... Make a bad thing as good as possible for everyone else. And I've been just as overwhelmed as everyone else - so I don't think I did a very good job at it.
... you have. You keep people grounded, and give them someone to talk to. You've given me that, even though... I think maybe me talking has caused a lot of problems more than it's solved them.
[or
something like that]
... Madopyon, I'm... gonna see if I can save Sasuke.
I don't... have anything confirmed yet, but I'm going to ask. Because... I'm too scared to lose him. More than almost anyone else and I don't think he deserves to be punished, when he was trying to help.
Keep it a secret, please. I don't want anyone to get any... dumb ideas, like trying to switch, in case it doesn't go right.
... I hope so too. But... I'd understand if the person would be nervous not to have it for the last week, or... something like that.
So I might... leave Sincerity, to try to take on that power instead as a failsafe. I don't know for sure yet, but... since Guy-san is with Cunning, and he doesn't plan to move, can I ask Madopyon to think about going back to Cheri?
I just - I like Cunning, that's all. He's nice. [ despite what people keep telling her. ] If this is really the end, then I wanted to stay with him for it.
... But I want to be helpful to Senri-kun, a-and it's like you said - that Cunning will still have other followers, so... I don't mind switching.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ she pauses, like she has more to say. but she - doesn't. she doesn't know what to say about any of this.
once he has the lunch boxes, she seems to assume they're all done here, and gives a shallow bow to say goodbye. but. hesitates again. ]
... We're almost home safe. And then everyone will go home, back to where they came from.
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[ . . . . and he blinks, like he doesn't understand why she's going]
... I don't blame you. If you're mad at me again.
I just... wanted to say I'm sorry.
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Eh? I'm not mad. Why would I be mad...? What are you apologizing for? Are you okay, Senri-kun?
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[senri stares at her, confused]
... No, I - I just thought you'd... be angrier at me. I thought... a lot of people would be angrier at me.
I wouldn't blame them if they were. [ . . . ] They might... be mad at the wrong people, instead. Or - that I think are... the wrong people.
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[ there are no right or wrong people to be upset with right now, as far as she's concerned. ]
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I get angry, or sad, or jealous, or hurt. And I hesitate, and I get confused, and I'm wrong a lot. [ ... that said, she sure is explaining all this in a sincerely patient and soothing tone. ]
I'm not perfect.
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[and senri will quietly put the bento boxes aside - on the closest surface that can hold them
and then he'll walk closer to her so he can rest his hand on her head again]
... thanks. I don't know if we deserve it, but.... thanks.
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I told you, I came here just hoping I could... Make a bad thing as good as possible for everyone else. And I've been just as overwhelmed as everyone else - so I don't think I did a very good job at it.
I haven't done anything worth thanking.
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[or
something like that]
... Madopyon, I'm... gonna see if I can save Sasuke.
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[ but she freezes up at that last part. that's... ]
But... Is there a way to save someone without getting killed, yourself? [ Like Estelle? ]
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[ . . . and senri just quietly sighs]
I don't... have anything confirmed yet, but I'm going to ask. Because... I'm too scared to lose him. More than almost anyone else and I don't think he deserves to be punished, when he was trying to help.
Keep it a secret, please. I don't want anyone to get any... dumb ideas, like trying to switch, in case it doesn't go right.
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but she doesn't feel like it's really her place to make demands like that. ]
You're always so diligent. [ she forces a smile, and for however tentative it is, she means it. ] I hope it works. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
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... I hope so too. But... I'd understand if the person would be nervous not to have it for the last week, or... something like that.
So I might... leave Sincerity, to try to take on that power instead as a failsafe. I don't know for sure yet, but... since Guy-san is with Cunning, and he doesn't plan to move, can I ask Madopyon to think about going back to Cheri?
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[ . . . ]
... Sure. I can - I can do that.
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and peers in just a little closer to her face]
... Madopyon? What is it?
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... But I want to be helpful to Senri-kun, a-and it's like you said - that Cunning will still have other followers, so... I don't mind switching.
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... no, I don't... I don't want to ask you to if it's hard.
[ . . . ]
I'll find you again later, and only ask you if I have no other choice, okay?
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I don't - I don't want you to avoid asking me a favor just because it's not fun. Even if I don't like it, I still want to be useful.
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That's... not a problem, I promise.
But... I'll ask, if I need it.
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Madopyon is at your service, Senrin.
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I'm honored.
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[ . . . and senri just laughs quietly]
Is it okay if I give you a hug now?
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You never have to ask.