frilly | Nonon Private Convos

[ Nonon looks at Madoka with a tired look, much less bright than she usually is. There isn't any of her usual fire. She waves a hand limply. ]

Kaname, I don't know how to answer that question right now. I can't say I'm alright, but I shouldn't be this surprised still.

That's okay. You don't have to be alright.

You just shouldn't be alone.

I don't know. Maybe I should? People kept telling me I was saying weird things at the trial.

[ It sounds like she acknowledges it, but it doesn't sound quite right to her still. ]

That's true... But I think we all know that it's not your fault. I don't think you should have to be all by yourself just because you're not saying the right thing.

[ She sighs and looks at the nail polish bottles that Madoka brought over. She still doesn't have quite the capacity to smile, but she appreciates what's going on. It's clear in the way her eyes soften. ]

We're due to redo our nails, huh?

[ Madoka nods. ]

Mine got a little scratched up during the week. And I thought it would be nice to focus on something like this.

Yeah. I guess so. Do you want to tell me about your adventures this week?

[ She gestures Madoka to come over and give her hand, so they can start this nail painting business. It'll be nice to have one part of her brain occupied. ]

[ Madoka comes to sit across from Nonon. She opens the nail polish that Nonon had used last time and motions for Nonon to put out her hand. ]

Umm... I didn't do very much this week... But I did explore the locked room in the orphanage a little.

You found that picture, right? Was there anything else?

[ She holds out her hand for Madoka. ]

[ Madoka starts carefully painting over Nonon's nails, making sure to get the layers evened out. ]

There were a couple more things... [ but it's still being backthreaded so i don't know exactly what yet!!! ] I wish I had talked more to Ruin while I had the chance. Maybe I could have learned more about her...

[ Nonon nods. Her hands are perfectly still. ]

I only talked to her about what kind of world she wanted to create and what she hoped for, but that's about it.

What did she say? When I did talk to her, it was kind of scary, so I didn't ask...

She cared about how a world functioned. Not all things should be eternal, and those things should be destroyed so something new can grow in its place.

It's not a terrible thing.

It's not.

But I wonder if a world needs to be built around that idea. I think that would just happen naturally. No matter what kind of world it is, it wouldn't stay the same forever.

You made a wish to destroy a system, didn't you? That didn't happen naturally.

It's true that it was a pretty special thing...

I guess sometimes I still think about magical girls as if they aren't a natural part of my world. But they are still a part of my universe...

[ Unnatural? ]

How long has it been for you? Knowing about magical girls and becoming one?

Um... It depends on the timeline... I have the memories from all of them, so it's varied quite a bit. The first time I made my contract within a couple of days. And the last time I had a couple of weeks.

[ You're killing her, Madoka. Her own world is nonsensical, but every time she's reminded of Madoka's time paradoxes, she just wants her brain to stop. ]

Collectively, it's been a while. Do you ever regret it?

Sort of. I only remembered all those other timelines after making my final wish, and that wish was still only made within a couple of weeks.

... But I don't regret it at all. I could never regret something like that.

Atta girl. We should all aim to do things we won't regret.

[ She closes her eyes. ]

That's how I hope this will end, but we'll see.

... It's hard, but I think that it will be okay. I think that this will end well, despite how hard it is.

[ she speaks softly; she knows that when Nonon is down probably isn't the best time for aggressive optimism. ]

[ She already regrets something, and she hates it. To Nonon, regret shouldn't be in the picture. She just goes for what she wants, does what she wants, and that's it. Do or die.

Now... ]

We're all trying our best. Some of the we are to do good. Some of the other we...

[ are like Newt. ]

... Even though I don't think he should have done what he did... And I don't like the attitude he had about it...

It might have been for something good, in the long run...

[ She's silent for a little while, and when she next speaks, she's very quiet. She's tempering her emotions, and it's audible in how strained her words sound. ]

He did have a good goal, once. Now... it's hard to say with the way he's been affected. Who he used to be.... and who he is now aren't completely separate, but they're still unforgivable actions.

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frilly - 2019-03-21 23:21 (UTC) - Expand