Luke Private Convos

[frilly]

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[frilly]

Then it's a good thing you're still here. You could still have that wish granted.

[ . . . ]

I'm sorry. About your world, and what your wish has to be because of it. And... That your friend did something like that, even if it was for a good reason. It's... Complicated, and hard, and sad.

[ The whole concept of it all resonates with her deeply, but it's hard to put it into words, because... "I understand, and I don't think what he did was so wrong" is almost in direct conflict with "I don't think he should have done it, and you were right to tell us."

But she believes both, fully. ]

[dupelicate]

[He laughs, sudden and startling, without any humor.]

I don't know about that. [The tone is defeated, as if all the fight has already flown.] I don't even know if I'm worth it, especially now.

What makes me better than anyone else's wish, huh? Nothing. Everyone is fighting for something they care about, something they value. If I'm going to get anything, I don't want it to cost others. I don't want to give up on what I believe in.

[...]

Guy... I understand it. But I don't... I can't...

...I couldn't let him get away with it. Because of that.

[frilly]

Miracles aren't fair. That's why they're miracles.

If they were fair, you wouldn't need a magic wish to make it come true - you could just work hard and earn it naturally. That unfairness... Goes for who gets offered a wish, and for who gets theirs granted, too.

[ But she isn't sure what to say to the last part. She wanted to come in calm and composed and say something grounding to help him sort out his feelings, but... There isn't a simple answer to how he should feel or behave in all this. ]

[dupelicate]

Then... I don't want a miracle. I want to work on things my way. I'll be satisfied with the results, no matter what, if I can make them myself.

[It's not bitter, just reflective—and he's strangely calm, talking about it.]

[frilly]

But it isn't wrong to want a miracle.

[ all of life is just as unfair, after all. ]

... If you're dead, what is it that you can do to fix that without a miracle?

[dupelicate]

That's... true. Nothing, I guess.

[He shrugs, with an exhale.]

Make the most of my last few weeks, or at least, make the most of my time until someone decides I'm weak enough to pull a Guy on me.

[...]

I think if I win... it'll just be luck. I'm starting to think that's all there is to this.

[frilly]

... I...

[ This is complicated. ]

With a wish like yours, I want it to come true. But I... I think that it's up to luck, too. I know that we're not very good at catching people, but it almost seems like a bigger risk to play like that than to just wait out the end of this contest.

[dupelicate]

I guess everyone is going to approach the whole thing in different ways, but...

[he'd just been talking to Zoe about it.]

...It's hard to believe anyone actually went for the death option. Even if it's... kind of set up for that.

[the trials. the curfew. everything.]

I just want to keep doing it my way. Win or lose. I think I'll be happy with the results, then, no matter what.

[frilly]

That's what I think, too. I was hoping that no one would do it... But it's happened each week, so I don't think we can count on that.

[ but. ]

That doesn't mean that you have to give in to that. You, and me, and a bunch of other people can still play this contest differently.

[dupelicate]

Yeah. [He looks up, giving Madoka a twitch of a smile, tired and sad as it may be.] I'm with you. I'll keep going, and doing my best, but I'll never hurt anyone.

[...]

Maybe the gods can learn from that.